The Briar Philosopher - Growing

What a beautiful weekend it was! The Boy and I had been hoping for a few days of good weather to get caught up on mowing and planting and the like and this past weekend was just the ticket. Sunshine and low humidity made for the perfect weather to finally get some tilling done in the garden and finish up the mowing in the little orchard. The Boy got about mowing the yard proper and the Daughter’s yard. Between work and rain it has been impossible to get things done outside but now things will be growing! Every muscle in my body is tired and achey today but it was so worth it. 

I love seeing everything grow in the spring. I love seeing the million shades of green in the trees and I even love the sound of a good Thunder Storm. I’m sure everyone gets tired of me saying that this is my favorite season, but it is. If everything works out and no insects or diseases strike we will have a good harvest of several things this fall. The goose berries are covered with little green marble sized berries. Our two oldest pecan trees, which are about 7 years old this year, look like they stand to produce our first pecan crop. It wont be bushels but it will be our first harvest and that makes it special. The mulberry trees we planted just three autumn ago are covered with berries. The persimmon trees are blooming and apple trees are full of tiny little apples. The first two native plums we planted look likely to bear fruit and the elderberries are really showing off. The cool weather has slowed down the strawberries but they are starting to ripen now. 

But one can’t count their harvest before it is gathered. In gardens and orchards, as in life, things can come and change the outcome that seems so promising at the moment. Storms take trees and drought can cause a heavy loss of fruit and berries. Insects can infest crops as can fungi and mold. The best care one can give your growing things can still end up in failure through no fault of your own. Having been involved in growing things since I was a child, I’ve gotten used to the unpredictability of farming and of life. I know that Spring’s promise can end in Autumn's disappointment. That’s why it’s very important to keep perspective. However, it is not a good idea to always assume the worst will come because such assumptions can become a self fulfilling prophecy. It can take the joy out of the plantings if one keeps fear in their heart about the reapings. I’ve lost crops for various and sundry reasons. Drought, flooding, blight, and insects have all come and decimated what I hoped would be a great harvest. Sorrow and death and loss and fear and pain have all come into my life and turned that once upon a time season of growth into a colder season in my soul. But every Spring I still rejoice in the promise of new things. I don’t let possible downturns in the future take away from my delight at what is happening in the present. Nor do I let the memory of things that have gone awry in the past color how I feel in the present. It’s not good for growing gardens or people to be so trapped in past problems or so focused on the possibility of future disappointment. 

Now, I wasn’t born knowing these things. I can say that they are true because at one time or another I have been guilty of everything I’m telling you is not good for the soul. You discover at some point in your life, if you are lucky, that the garden within yourself must also be weeded and old stones and shards of pain must be dealt with. Once you start on that process you realize that it’s a lot harder to clean out that internal garden so that you yourself can grow than it ever was to keep the weeds out of your tomatoes. I have dug out stones that were buried so deep in my heart and in my mind that I didn’t even realize I was tripping over them. One wouldn’t think you could trip over a buried stone but, when it comes to things of the heart or mind, you can. I’ve dug out more thistles and nettle, more saw briars and ragweed in that garden within than I care to think about. But, it was all so necessary. Without that work I would still be getting my feet tangled in the cleavers and falling into continuing cycles of poor soils and bad crops, drought and flood and famine. I would not have been able to feed my soul what it needs from such a garden. 

As I said before, it is a very difficult task and one that many fear to begin. There is no magic bullet. There is no 30 minute solution. There is no magic spell. There is no shortcut. There is no escape into substances that will do more than cause the garden to be hidden in fog. Nothing will clear the soil of the soul but the labor one must do oneself in identifying those hidden stones and being prepared to rip out things that are not serving us though we have known them for years and have even become somewhat dependent on their presence. Their absence might feel like a loss so we tend them with our sorrow and water them with our tears. I’ve heard people say that you just need to let it go. Trust me, if it were that easy everyone would be doing it. It’s hard work and has to be done on a day to day basis, sometimes a moment by moment basis today, tomorrow and for the rest of our lives. But, as with the sore and aching muscles from tending the outer gardens we grow, it is so worth it to finally be able to claim our own inner garden and know that, despite the pain of clearing it, it will feed us and heal us and that’s the best crop anyone could ever grow.