Speak Up, Jackson County - We Do Not Have To Go Quiet

Living in a small county has a lot of good about it. We go to church together, see each other at the store and usually know a little about what’s going on in each other’s lives. But I think that can make it harder when something comes between us too.

We’ve all probably had a friend or family member we used to talk to all the time, and then something changed. Maybe there wasn’t even a big argument. You just didn’t talk as much. One person got their feelings hurt, somebody disagreed about something, or maybe neither one really knows what happened. Before long a few weeks becomes a few months, and sometimes a few months becomes years.

I’ve thought about that more as I’ve gotten older. What did we really gain during all that time we weren’t talking? Maybe we held our ground. Maybe we were waiting on the other person to make the first move. But we also missed conversations, laughs, birthdays, holidays and just knowing what was going on in each other’s lives. That’s time we’re never going to get back.

I think our faith should help us with that. Sometimes we need to forgive somebody, and sometimes we need to admit we’re the one who needs forgiveness. Neither one is always easy. Sometimes it might be as simple as picking up the phone and saying, “I don’t like how things have gotten between us. Can we talk?”

That doesn’t mean every relationship can be fixed, and it doesn’t mean there aren’t times when some distance is needed. But I think it’s worth asking ourselves why we aren’t talking. Is there really a reason, or did pride, hurt feelings or a misunderstanding get in the way and stay there?

We aren’t going to agree on everything. We may disagree about family matters, roads, money, county business, politics or something somebody said. We can think the other person is completely wrong and still care about them. Somewhere along the way it seems like we’ve forgotten that.

The same goes for the way we talk to each other. If somebody asks a question, answer it if you can. Maybe they don’t understand. That might be why they asked. If they have something wrong, explain it without trying to make them feel stupid. Talking down to somebody doesn’t make our answer any more right.

I’ve been guilty of being too quick myself. There have been times I cared more about getting my point across than listening. There are things I wish I had handled differently, and I’m still working on that. The older I get, the more I realize being right about something isn’t worth much if the way I handled it hurt somebody I cared about.

Our kids see all of this too. They notice when family members don’t speak. They notice when people who used to laugh together barely look at each other anymore. We can tell them how they should treat people, but they’re going to learn a lot more by watching how we treat people ourselves.

Maybe all of us have somebody who comes to mind while reading this. Somebody we miss. Somebody we haven’t talked to in a while. Maybe there’s something we wish we had handled differently. We can’t go back and get that time back, but sometimes we still have a chance to do something about today.

I know there are things in my own life I could’ve handled better. So instead of always waiting on somebody else to make the first move, maybe I need to ask myself why I can’t make it. Sometimes a phone call may not fix everything, but it might be a start.

Until next week, God bless, and remember: If we want better, we have to do better. Speak up, stay involved, and never stop caring about Jackson County.

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