The Briar Philosopher - The February YoYo

Some of you are probably old enough to remember Tommy Smothers of the Smothers Brothers, that ran on TV back in the dark ages. One of Tommy’s talents was his skill with a yoyo. He could make one do about anything. He was nicknamed the YoYo Man as a result. He only passed a couple of years ago, and I’m pretty sure God put him in charge of this the weather. We’ve had 60 and 70 degree days, rain, cold days, and nights and as we woke up to go to work today there was snow on the ground and the roads were white.  But don’t worry, it will start raining in the middle of the snow storm and the temperatures will reach above freezing so it may rain off all the snow….or it might not. Could be ice. Who knows? We won’t know until it gets here. I am glad it’s cooling back down (maybe) so my fruit trees will stay asleep and not get killed if a hard freeze comes along in the next few weeks. I’ve tried singing them lullabies (stay asleep, stay asleep, stay asleep, little apple tree), but I kind of doubt that will work, as it is a well-known fact that trees don’t speak English, and I never learned to speak Tree. 

At any rate, the yoyo dance the weather is causing makes it really hard to adjust. It also makes for more illness, it seems, as if we didn’t already have enough to go around. This year’s star player on the illness stage seems to be the flu. We both  kept expecting to get it but haven’t so far. We’re behind on our vaccines this season. It may be that we had that particular strain before and our bodies still have some immunity to it. I know that there are a lot of folks out there who have become anti-vaccination for any number of reasons. Personally, I’m glad I never had polio, thanks to a vaccine. Never had TB either, or Diphtheria or Tetanus, among other things that vaccines have been developed against since I was growing up. They didn’t have the measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine then, but I sure wouldn’t have minded missing the solid month I was sick with the mumps - two weeks on one side and two weeks on the other. Not fun. But I’m getting off-topic. We were talking about the weather. 

The weather is, mostly, unpredictable in the month or so leading up to spring proper. It just seems a little more weird of late, but when I think about it it’s not all that different. I can remember it getting warm and staying warm in March and I can remember it still being cold in May. It may seem odd that I remember such things but when part of who you are is made up of the need to grow things, you tend to pay a little more attention to weather patterns over the years. 

Now, you might be wondering, “Where’s the Philosophy in that? Everybody knows about the weather this time of year.” Well, yeah, most folks do, but it’s the similarity that the yoyo weather has to life sometimes that contains the philosophy. I expect we have all had yoyo spells in our lives; three good days, then 5 bad ones, then a week of feeling good about life, and a month of wondering why you bother getting up. Illnesses and life struggles get to all of us over time. There may be some out there who ride an even keel all of the time, but I think they are few and far between. Most of us know exactly what I’m talking about. Some days/weeks/months, your heart may feel like spring; a time full of possibilities and growth, new beginnings, and the rush of new starts and second chances. Those times are great. Then again, your heart may feel like winter for a spell for no reason you can really pin down. It feels chilly and cold inside of you, and you can’t seem to get your heart warmed up. All that grew within you in warmer seasons of the heart now seems to be asleep, or crumbled, or iced over, and you just can’t seem to find a way to shift yourself back toward spring. It usually eases up, and you get your feet back under you, but it seems like it takes forever to get there. 

This gets me back to the thing about remembering patterns. That is not only good for those who grow green things but for those who want to grow themselves in heart, mind, and body and not constantly be gripped by cold spells that nip the tender buds of hope. I had to learn to do this myself for more than just my garden. I found there were indeed patterns to the times I would feel so weary of the struggle, the day-to-day, the seemingly endless cycle of joy followed by the blues. Paying attention to those patterns helped me to finally figure out what my triggers were, what would send me spiraling toward a colder season. Sometimes it was physical - I hadn’t been eating well, had put on too much weight, hadn’t had enough exercise, enough vitamin D, enough B-12. Other times, it was purely a matter of the heart and mind. A memory would stir, sometimes beneath the surface, a sight or sound would remind me of some pain or sorrow and I might not even know what the sight or sound might have been. Once I started paying attention, once I started looking more deeply into my bad days, I was mostly able to figure out what had caused me to suddenly “freeze up,” and then I could figure out how to deal with it. Quite often it was something I had refused to deal with for fear of the pain and the tears I never quite managed to cry. If I have discovered one thing on this journey of life, it is this: All tears must be cried! It may feel like you will drown if you actually let yourself feel the things that you have buried. You won’t.  What may well happen is that once the tears have been shed and the pain felt instead of hidden, you’ll feel lighter, like you’ve laid down some heavy burden that really wasn’t yours to carry all these years.  

I am more in control of my own patterns these days. I’m better at shortening the winter days and finding that spring within me. Some days are still a bit frosty but they are manageable and don’t interfere with the things I want to do. 

I wish for each and every one of you a new and better understanding of your own seasons. May you find that eternal spring within you and remember that every day is a chance to grow and bloom.